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Friday, May 17, 2013

Shocking News


The news today was shocking. After struggling with health problems for the past 5 years, which I will get into more detail about, this morning, my family, husband and I met with a lung transplant doctor at New York Presbyterian hospital.

In my doctor's minds, my illness (a combination of severe Pulmonary Hypertension, the possibility of Pulmonary Veno Occlusive Disease, which is an extremely rare lung disease, and an auto immune disease) is a life threatening one, and therefore drastic measures must be taken. After hearing about the risks and life expectancy of a double lung transplant patient, (1-5 years) I became scared shitless; quietly scared shitless since I'm not one to express my emotions in public, but truly scared shitless.

There are cases where people have lived 15-20 years after a transplant, but the doctors seem to not talk about those people enough. I learned about the medication that has to be taken for the rest of one's life prior to a transplant and became even more scared shitless, as I am on one of the meds now and it is causing nausea, so I've had to temporarily stop it. After a transplant, stopping medication is not an option if one wants to remain alive. I also learned about weekly bronchoscopies, blood work and check ups that have to take place post transplant. Basically, all of the info we got today has made it feel like I've been sucked into a nightmare and I can't wake up.

All of a sudden, all thought of a future disappeared and instead of being sad I became numb.

I've been home now all day thinking about life and what it really means and I'm realizing more and more that life is only now. It is this moment. Nothing else is promised to us.

I am not one to discuss my emotions and I am very private about my life, but I feel compelled to write about my experience. Hopefully it can help someone out there who may be going through a difficult time. For my own personal benefit, it simply feels good to get out what's going on within.

My intention is to heal my body with the help of my wonderful husband (without whom I probably would have jumped off a cliff by now), my own strength, raw vegetable juices, my oxygen tanks (which I now wear 24/7) time with family, prayer, and laughter!!! Lots and lots of laughter!!!

Despite what the doctors say, I am determined to do all that is in my power to heal myself.

Thank you for reading this. See you at the next.

xx
Chloe


24 comments:

  1. I've been following you on YouTube for a couple of years now, I had no idea... I never questioned your lung capacity, figured you have a quiet style and your frame is slight.

    Really sorry to hear this news, but technology advances so fast... hoping for your miracle.

    s

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  2. Chloe! I am so very sorry to read this news!

    I am very proud of you for starting this blog and turning this into a positive dialogue. You have always been someone that I tell all of my friends about and share your music with because you are unbelievably talented. You were a strong woman with an old soul back at CA and you will continue to grow stronger through this experience. I have faith that you, your loved ones, and your physicians will make all of the appropriate decisions when necessary.

    Please try to keep your head up. I know that is very cliché, but one of the most important lessons I have learned in medical school is to stay positive, both for my own well being and for that of my patients. A positive attitude and HOPE can make a world of difference during treatments.

    I am here for you when you need me!

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    1. Thank you so much, Natalie! I really appreciate all your kind words and you're so right about HOPE! Big hugs to you! Chloe :-)

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  3. I am a new fan, but we have many friends in common. This is heartbreaking to hear. I hope that you continue to turn to your FB community for additional support, beautiful Chloe.

    Rich

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    1. Thank you, Rich! Really appreciate you writing!!

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  4. God Bless you! Best Wishes!!

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  5. I offer my prayers right now. This is a great blog. Keep at it and it is yet another thing that will help heal you. A great time to start talking to God more, too. Take care!

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    1. Thank you so much for writing and for your prayers!!! All the best to you! Chloe

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  6. Dear Chloe,
    I'm a friend of your mom's, and I've been trying to heal myself from Crohn's for the past 4 years after a difficult emergency surgery. I've been trying to heal with diet, yoga, acupunture, and LDN. Because you may be dealing with something autoimmune, I wanted to just point you in the direction of LDN, which helps the immune system heal the body. Most traditional doctors don't know about LDN, but I think it's worth reading about. It is being used off-label for all different kinds of autoimmune diseases with studies to back up it's efficacy. You can read about it here: www.lowdosenaltrexone.org

    In addition to raw vegetable juices, I would also recommend eating lots of bone broths if you aren't already. They are extremely nourishing and healing to the body, but especially the gut, which is where 70% of the immune system resides. There is a wonderful book called Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon which explains the importance of these types of food in healing the body.

    Anyway, just a few ideas for you. You've been in my prayers and will continue to be.

    Healing thoughts and lots of love,
    Jenn

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    1. Jenn,

      Thank you so much for this info and for your prayers and positive thoughts! Really interesting about bone broths! We're going to look into it all. Healing thoughts and positive energy to you too!

      xx
      Chloe :-)

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  7. Jenn and Chloe,

    In the case that your problems are related to leaky-gut from GMO toxins, I suggest you explore the wonder-drug Liquorice. A friend of mine uses it topically and internally for amazing results with her shingles.

    For starters: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquorice

    Alternative medicine [edit]
    Main article: Glycyrrhiza uralensis (Chinese liquorice)
    In traditional Chinese medicine, liquorice (मुलेठी, 甘草) is commonly used in herbal formulae to "harmonize" the other ingredients in the formula and to carry the formula to the twelve "regular meridians"[24] and to relieve a spasmodic cough.

    In herbalism it is used in the Hoxsey anti-cancer formula, and is a considered adaptogen which helps reregulate the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis. It can also be used for auto-immune conditions including lupus, scleroderma, rheumatoid arthritis and animal dander allergies.[20]

    Glycyrrhizin from Glycyrrhiza root has been shown to modulate airway constriction, lung inflammation and infiltration of eosinophils in bronchial areas by stimulating CD4 and CD8 immune cell function.[25]

    More recently licorice has been used for symptomatic improvement in patients with the Postural Tachycardia Syndrome.

    Liquorice may be useful in conventional and naturopathic medicine for both mouth ulcers[26] and peptic ulcers.[27]

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    1. Weaver, thanks for all this info! I'll look into it!! Really appreciate it!

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  8. Off topic:

    I was going to share "Facebook Stalker" with my FaceBook friends (again), but found that the video is private.

    Is there a copyright problem?

    I never did understand why this video didn't go viral.

    steve

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    1. Hey Steve (I've been calling you Weaver)

      It's actually currently on private I believe. Changed up my youtube profile :-)

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  9. I love you sooo much. I'd like to see you really soon

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  10. Chloe...I'm still just in shock and my heart is aching for you and your family. I know that we aren't "friends", but I've been such a huge fan and supporter of your music for years now, and really have enjoyed watching you grow as an artist. What you did for me for my birthday was so amazing and truly meant so much to me, and I will treasure it always!! Please know that I really do mean it when I say that I will be praying for you every day, and that I have faith in miracles! You are such a wonderful person and you deserve only the best of everything. Stay strong - stay positive - and know we are here fighting with you!! Besos - Erica DeLong

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    1. Erica,

      You're amazing! What you wrote is so meaningful! Thank you so much for your kind words, thoughts and prayers!

      Big hugs to you!
      Chloe

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  11. oot inggo mi... :) I love your dearly my Chloe... Can't wait to see you. Love Unky...

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  12. I LOVE YOU BFF. You are a bright bright bright light in my life.

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    1. I love it.. Hey CarmenLeah.. I remember you :)

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  13. "Its So Deep,
    Like Looking In Your Eyes Just To Find Peace
    This Stage of Oblivion's Blind Faith
    So Don't Remind Mis"

    Still On The Tip Of My Tongue Even Though I Havent Heard The Song In Ages. That Was My Ode To You. I Know We're Far But If You Can Please Contact Me @ Edotpdot@gmail.com. I'd Love To Hear From You Through Video Chat/Facetime.

    Your Light Has Never Faded, Keep Shining! You Will Overcome.

    Blessings To You, Your Husband And Your Family.

    You Are A Gift To Us All!

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